X-Rays 'R Us

So there I was, bumming around the Internet (when I should have been doing other things) when I ran across some sites with funny or cool X-ray images.

I thought this was just kind of a cool pic...reminds me of something you'd see on a Tool album (you know, the greatest band ever)

Here's a cool one of a lizard...

Umm, it may not be a good idea to harpoon a fish while you're holding it.....

The weapon of evil telemarketers everywhere......

DOH!!! The truth revealed!

Well, not an X-ray, but it's kinda funny....

And last but not least....what the hell was this person thinking?
"Hey, I'm gonna pop open a nice frosty Coke and jam the bottle up my ass!"???I bet THAT would be fun to explain to your health insurance company. What's even better is that this person has an artificial hip!

I'm all outta randomness, so I'm out until the next time!

It's amazing...

....how stupid people are sometimes.

I just recently went through my first wave of tests at UNT, oh joy. I did really well on two of them and just took another today that I think I did all right on. So the studying apparently paid off.

But the best part, or most amusing I should say, was when they were giving us our tests back the other day. Okay, come with me people, and imagine you're at a semi-major university and taking your first big test...what would be the first thing you do when getting your test? (hint: the professor says, quote: "when you get your test, make sure to put your name on your test!"). That's right. 12 people in my class did NOT put their names on their test.

Issue #2. In one of the tests, there 4 versions of the test. It said it right at the top in big bold f%^&ing letters, "THIS IS VERSION B". Professor says no less than three times, "make sure you fill in the bubble on your Scantron for your version, or you will probably get a poopy score" (ok, so that's not an exact quote). I must point out that she said this at least three times. Fairly important, huh?

Guess what? That's right. Several dunderheads failed this overwhelming test. One person also not only failed to put their version down, but forgot their name as well. I said to myself that that person should get a 50 pt deduction for being a total assclown.

Ok, that's all, just wanted to share that little slice of college life with yall. Back to the books with me, oh yay.

Operation Monkeyshyne

For some reason today, I was thinking about all the crap going on in Iraq on the way home from skool today, and how glad I was that my ass (apparently a nice one, according to Colin) is not over there again. But due Oz's blog earlier where Chris was referenced as "Colonel Asshole" or something like that, I started imagining what it would be like if we, monkeyshyne, went into combat together.

(bouncing around on the way to the front in a armored Humvee)

Chris: Man, it's frigging hot. Good thing we have cruise control on our Hummer, Colin, instead of the A/C we coulda fixed...we can roll easily at 60mph in sweaty style.
Colin: Screw you, buddy. You're not the one making the long drives at 6am back to base, you're drooling in one of the back seats fast asleep.
Keith: Oh good God, shut the hell up. Has anyone seen me Mk-VII Combat Spork? I can't find it.
Oz: Hey Colin, can you try to not hit so many rocks and holes in the desert? I'm trying to do my toenails in the latest color, Chameleon Camo...it's all the rage in Paris, I hear.
Chris: I think we redesign these uniforms to look like camouflaged Boy Scout Uniforms...that would so rock!
Colin: You know how I know you're gay?
Oz: I am not gay!
Keith: He wasn't talking to you, Oz.
Oz: Oh sorry...hey, here's your spork sticking out of Colin's assault pack.
Keith: What the hell, buddy? Trying to steal my trusty Attack Spork?
Colin: Well, I lost mine...my lighter and spork were about to fall out the window, and it was lighter or spork, but not both...I went for the lighter.

(BOOM!)

Oz: Hey, we're under attack? How's my hair??? I gotta look good in combat, you know!
Chris: It looks super, buddy....RETURN FIRE!!!"

(the monkeyshyne boys leap out of the Hummer and lay down withering return fire against the insurgents led by Abu-dali Achbar-Poopnugistan).

Chris: Got another one! Hey I'm outta ammo...Colin, you got anymore?
Colin: As soon as I'm done with my smoke, buddy. Anyone seen my Mountain Dew?
Keith: I think it took a RPG round, buddy....I think...it's.....gone.
Colin: NOOOOOOOOooooooooo!
Oz: Hey guys, I think I broke a nail..anyone have a nail file?

(the boys successfully repel the insurgent attack, and and hop back in their truck and go on their merry way)

hmmm...maybe we should just stick to playing music, haha.

tool time

So last night, my homie Christian Rawkk and I went to see my favorite band, Tool...wow. These guys are sick, how good they are, musician-wise. I don't think I heard a missed beat, a flubbed note, an off-key vocal (even though the singer Maynard was sick), or anything...nada zip zilch null. They were so tight it was crazy, and when you consider that most of the songs they do are in odd-meter time and they change time signatures so often, even more amazing. And they had a killer lights-and-effects show too. Very understated in a way, but very badass and intense.

But it was a killer show...we good great seats, thanks Steve. Although I think it's safe to say that we coulda done without the teenage stoner couple in front of us who made out the entire time in front of us and barely watched the show, haha. What a waste of ticket $$$, you asses!

On the way home we were talking about how badass they were as musicians, and I think it just re-lit the fire under my ass to start practicing more like I used to...if I could ever be 50% of the musician that Justin (the bass player from Tool) is, I would be a happy man, and I would be the man.

Peace out! Come check us out at our all-ages gig at the Ridglea Theater in Fort Worth tomorrow night!

Diary of a Madman

Deer Diary,

Today I am a happy bass player. My keepers, I mean my friends, Colin, Ozkar, and Christian Rawkk let me out my cage, I mean "nice travel case" to let me bash on my 5-stringied thingy in front of reel peeple! We even played real songs, I am so happy. They even let me have an extra slice of Wonderbread, because I didn't break anything or set fire to anything or punch anyone in the soul. I was sad when it was all over though...they put me back into my "nice travel case" and said don't you make any more noise until next weekend, if your gud we might let you out to play at the Ridglea Theater if you are a good ogre, I mean bass player. I am sorry if there any typoes, because as a bassist I sometimes drool and it gets on the keyboard and I can't ytpe so good anyway. But last weekend was real fun and I hope we can see the nice people of Wichita Falls again, but onyl if they promise not to try to paint anyone's toenails again as that is very unogrely, I mean, un-bass playerey.

bye everybody! it's really not so bad in there, Colin gives me water every three days and a little bag to "do my business" in, although i don't know what he means, i don't have any money in dere.

intersections

Sorry for the delay in my blogging, thankfully Christian Rawkk (the two Ks are important) has been keeping up. I've been busy getting back into the swing of things at school. It's been so long since I've done the full-time deal that keeping track of all the crap I have to do for four classes is time-consuming, especially since one prof is Satan embodied and has decided we need lots of stuff to do every night, the hooker.

Anyway, I was sitting in my back yard staring at the sky, and kinda felt small for a second. How many other people in the world were looking up at the moon or the same stars at that moment? A bunch, I bet. Then you start thinking how many people are around, and how easy it would be to get lost completely in the shuffle.

Then I started thinking about my good friends. Not really the acquaintances, but the good friends. Since I'm taking physics right now and we've been talking about lines of electric intersection, imagine everyone's lives are a long line....and with all the peoples in the world, how many billions of lines are running through it. Then think about how, out of all of those billions of lines, how your line randomly intersected with some others, usually by coincidence. And if weren't for those random intersections, we would have never met so-and-so and become friends with them.

Amen for intersections.

I've got some great friends...some are here in Dallas, and a lot of others scattered around. Temple/Killeen. Minnesota. The UK. Washington. Oklahoma. Georgia. France. Montana. Some other places. Some I've just met, relatively speaking. One I've known for 20 years, literally (here's to you, Red). And I wouldn't trade 'em for anything. I think enjoying life, or at least not being miserable at it, is more about the relationships/friendships we have with others close to us, more than anything else. I mean, if you were filthy rich, but had no friends...that would suck, to me anyway.

So here's to my friends. Especially you f$%^ers in the band. Even though I want to knife you all with a spork sometimes, haha.