For only pennies a day...

....YOU can help Sally Strothers and Her Three Chins feed a starving kid in Africa who will only see about 3% of whatever you donate, because Sally's donut bill will take the other 97%.

OR....you can donate to me, Keith the Awesome, Bass Player Extraordinare and Mastermind of Creative Ideas, and I will save your hard-earned pennies and nickels to send these two goons to...tada...ballroom dancing classes.

*ATTENTION*
You must click on the pic below to enjoy/endure the full glory!!!

WARNING
Senior Upper Middle Management is not responsible for any seizures that may occur

I mean, come ON. You have to see how important it is they they get some kind of instruction. If they keep this up, all of us who see this terrible tragedy (aka Chris and Cliff dancing) will suffer immediate seizures and possibly death, with absolutely no assault sporking or overindulgence of JaegerBombs involved in any way. And that just ain't right; if I'm gonna kick the bucket, there better be a spork, some booze, or a hot woman wearing me out involved, haha.

So please....dig deep into your hearts and pockets (past the lint and gum wrappers) and find it in your soul to donate whatever you can, so I can immediately sign these two up for "Getting In Touch With Your Feminine Side: Ballroom Dancing for Idjits" down at the Y immediately. And your donation will even be tax-deductible, I promise.

xoxo
Keith

For your own good

It has come to my attention that a bit o' censorship on some potentially scandalous pictures has gotten a member of Senior Upper Management all with his panties in a bunch. Never fear, CHUMP (that's Chief Head Upper Management Provider to you folks), it was I, the crafty, wise, all-powerful bass player, Keith, who headed off certain disaster by my well-timed photo-altering direction to our super photo buddies, Scotty (What Bushes?) Horn and Cliff (Have You Seen my Star Filter?) Cook. You see, unbeknownst to the CHUMP, who was too busy trying to find someone to rub some sunscreen on his head, our intrepid drummer Colin (with one l, that is very important) was, umm, getting a bit frisky with his midget lady friend...he introduced her to me as "Chesty McNugget", who he claimed was an internationally-acclaimed "actress" who has appeared in the award-winning film, "C4: Chesty does Chicago, Cleveland and Carrollton" but I am getting off track here. Seeing as we are a TOTALLY family-friendly band, and never talk about smoking pot and getting high, or never ever drink too many JaegerBombs on stage, or show nice young pretty ladies the inside of RunRun the Magic Bus's plush and luxurious interior, I felt that I had a mission. And that was to make sure that incriminating pics of Colin and "Chesty" doing let-us-say-NC-17-rated things were properly doctored, so we don't lose our Disney sponsorship. So really, you should be thanking me....

Just as a side note, "Chesty" asked if we would show a picture of the shirt she gave Colin after their "post-show interview"...
hugs not drugs,
Sr. Upper Middle Management