Lower management unite!
TO: Chief Head Upper Management Provider
FROM: Humble ridiculously good-looking and talented slightly lower management
SUBJECT: Workplace grievances
Dear Shiny Head Sir,
In light of your temporary resignation which you promptly reneged on after you realized how wonderfully Monkeyshyne, Inc was running in your absence, we would like to remind you of the promises and improvements you promised to make upon your reinstation as Chief Head Upper Management Provider (also known as CHUMP) to us members of Handsome Upper Management Peoples (known as HUMP). We, the members of HUMP, would like to point out to CHUMP some of the promises you have yet to provide, as you have been busy watching "Karate Kid III" way too much, we think you may need an Ralph Macchio intervention, but that will be addressed in our next staff meeting.
Our list of grievances, good sir...
1. You said you would get Krispy Kreme Donuts (little flour-y chunks of heaven) for all practices and staff meetings....Racetrac "6 for a buck" day-olds are NOT the same, we would like to point out.
2. The "high quality adult/exotic entertainer pole to be installed in the practice space" (see clause 12.137 section A) was not supposed to be a 2x4 nailed into the floor and ceiling....that leads to splinters in uncomfortable places, and hey dancers have feelings too, you know (ask Colin).
3. The CHUMP is not living up to his promise for footrubs for all members of HUMP, as requested. And Ozkar said he was not reimbursed for his latest tip-frosting yet, wtf?
4. The Jaeger tap that was supposed to be installed in the practice studio was NOT supposed to be a poster taped to the wall of a Jaeger tap machine, my friend.
5. Did I mention that HUMP is really concerned about the whole splinter/dancer problem?? We really do care.
So hopefully PUMP will get the ball rolling on these problems, or we may be forced to discipline CHUMP with a large brick or other handy heavy dull instrument, and we don't want that to happen, as we would hate to get Greg P Smiffy, head of Federal Union of Crabby Keyboardists (FUCK) involved, as I hear he loves to take on lousy CHUMPs and rally to the cause of poor downtrodden yet fabulously talented HUMPs in contract negotiations.
Eagerly awaiting your response,
The HUMPs.
p.s. any idea what the hell the lady in red is doing??? maybe she got a splinter from the shoddy "high quality adult/exotic entertainer pole " in an uncomfortable place!
FROM: Humble ridiculously good-looking and talented slightly lower management
SUBJECT: Workplace grievances
Dear Shiny Head Sir,
In light of your temporary resignation which you promptly reneged on after you realized how wonderfully Monkeyshyne, Inc was running in your absence, we would like to remind you of the promises and improvements you promised to make upon your reinstation as Chief Head Upper Management Provider (also known as CHUMP) to us members of Handsome Upper Management Peoples (known as HUMP). We, the members of HUMP, would like to point out to CHUMP some of the promises you have yet to provide, as you have been busy watching "Karate Kid III" way too much, we think you may need an Ralph Macchio intervention, but that will be addressed in our next staff meeting.
Our list of grievances, good sir...
1. You said you would get Krispy Kreme Donuts (little flour-y chunks of heaven) for all practices and staff meetings....Racetrac "6 for a buck" day-olds are NOT the same, we would like to point out.
2. The "high quality adult/exotic entertainer pole to be installed in the practice space" (see clause 12.137 section A) was not supposed to be a 2x4 nailed into the floor and ceiling....that leads to splinters in uncomfortable places, and hey dancers have feelings too, you know (ask Colin).
3. The CHUMP is not living up to his promise for footrubs for all members of HUMP, as requested. And Ozkar said he was not reimbursed for his latest tip-frosting yet, wtf?
4. The Jaeger tap that was supposed to be installed in the practice studio was NOT supposed to be a poster taped to the wall of a Jaeger tap machine, my friend.
5. Did I mention that HUMP is really concerned about the whole splinter/dancer problem?? We really do care.
So hopefully PUMP will get the ball rolling on these problems, or we may be forced to discipline CHUMP with a large brick or other handy heavy dull instrument, and we don't want that to happen, as we would hate to get Greg P Smiffy, head of Federal Union of Crabby Keyboardists (FUCK) involved, as I hear he loves to take on lousy CHUMPs and rally to the cause of poor downtrodden yet fabulously talented HUMPs in contract negotiations.
Eagerly awaiting your response,
The HUMPs.
p.s. any idea what the hell the lady in red is doing??? maybe she got a splinter from the shoddy "high quality adult/exotic entertainer pole " in an uncomfortable place!
posted by Keith at 7:25 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home