insane!

Ok, this vacation thing has gone on long enough. If we don't play a gig soon, and I mean like "This Saturday in Temple Soon", I am gonna go right off the deep end and began stabbing random passers-by with my new-for-Xmas 2007 Northrop-Grumman Pocket Attack Spork (with Armor Plating and Heat-Seeking Missile options).

Let me point out that I, the bassist and therefore Most Important Member of Monkeyshyne, have been ready to gig for the last several weeks, but the Less Important And Not Quite As Good Looking members of Monkeyshyne, also known to you as Baldilocks, Fluffy the Drummer, and My Favorite Mexican have been off gallivanting around endlessly. I will summarize....

Chris: I don't know exactly where he goes, he claims he went to California, New Mexico and Colorado, but him and his wife seem to always get hurt when they go out of town, so I think this whole "we're going snowboarding" or "visiting family" is just a cover for the fact that he and his wife are indeed a tag-team wrestling duo on some shady wrestling circuit that goes by the name "The Flying Clootchers"

Colin: He claims to go to Colorado to go camping, but by "Colorado" I think he means "Colombia" and by "camping" he means "decapitating my rival drug cartel leaders and stealing their women". He may seem like the lovable gentle giant with mad drum skills, but I think he picked up his drum skills from years of practice of beating on his rivals with lead pipes and midgets.

Oz: He says he's spent most of the time off by fixing up his house and visiting family, but I think what he's really up to is carrying on torrid affairs with Katie Holmes, Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson, and your mother...all at the same time. In a hot tub full of warm Cherry Jell-o.

Maybe I'm just bitter that I don't have any of these exciting side/alternate lives/occupations. I mean, I work at Dumbass Customer Hell, go to skool, visited my Pops and Little Bro for a few days, keep my roomie from drinking all my beer in the fridge, and pining wistfully that we get back to playing.

So *supposedly* we are playing this weekend in Temple, but until I am on the glorious beer-soaked stage at Bum's again, I won't believe it.

Chris just called. He was asking if I had any spare blue spandex lying around, maybe there's something to my theory, hmm.