crunchy cheesy chili-y sloppy goodness

As previously discussed, the secret is out that I have this thing for Chili Cheese Fritos. It's almost a borderline addiction, like cops with donuts, government employees with coffee, and drummers with midget porn...I mean, we're talking serious stuff here, like maybe I need an intervention or something.

So off to Wichita Falls we go this weekend to the Iron Horse Pub, and you just knew that when we stopped for gas before we left Dallas that I was going to magically be drawn to that magic 99-cent bag of chili crunchy tastiness....yep, the Chili Cheese Frito "Grab Bag". I mean, I couldn't help myself...due to my Frito-induced berserker madness, I failed to notice an important fact that I'll discuss in a sec.

Man, I tore into those chips like a guest on Jerry Springer on her baby's daddy, I mean I was all over 'em. I think I ate half the bag in 12.7 seconds. And then the best part, getting to lick the chili cheese crumbs that stick to your fingers off when you're done.

Then I look at the bag, admiring it's golden yellow and deep brown chili-ish hues...and I notice the freshness date. No way. I show it to The Oz, who was giving himself a pedicure at the time and ask him if this says what I think it says.

Keith (K): Hey Oz...what does this say for a freshness date?
The Oz (TO): Umm, looks like....July '04. Wow.
K: Are you sure it's not July 4th?
TO: Uh, I don't think so.
K: &%$!@#.

So hopefully I don't get the bird flu or some other weird disease from eating 2-year-old Chili Cheese Fritos. It would be tragic to be done in by the thing I so love. Wish me and my health luck this week!

p.s. Dear Racetrac gas station on Hebron Parkway...I am so gonna sue you.