4 out of 5 doctors recommend

So I was watching a commercial this morning for some new toothpaste, and it said "4 out of 5 dentists recommended" this toothpaste....so I started thinking about all those commercials we see that claim something like that, along the lines of '4 out of 5 proctologists' recommend Preparation H for your personal issues....

...so what if we got our own commercial like that? It would go something like this:

Doc (D): Well, Mr. Smithsonian, what seems to be the problem?
Patient (P): Doc, I feel like crap. My job sucks, my dog died, and my wife just left me for the cable guy.
D: Well, that sucks.
P: Gee thanks, Dr. Obvious.
D: I mean, seriously, that sounds like you could write a country song about that.
P: Umm, yeah.
D: Well, I have just the thing for you....some monkeyshyne! Take two and call me in the morning. It IS recommended by 4 out of 5 doctors for general lifesucksitis.
P: Wow! I think I'll do that. Thanks!!!
D: That will be one million dollars and fifty cents, please.
P: Huh?

The world would be a better place....